How Hajime Found Out
by Reese Craven
Summary: Tokio is pregnant...again. What will Saitou do? Warning: Saitou is OOC.
1. Part One

Disclaimer: I don't own Rurouni Kenshin. Or any of the people on that show for that matter...Why did I Mention Kenshin? He's not even in the story. Okay. Basically, the characters I own are Karina, Hajime Jr. and all of Hajimes' other kids.  
  
Authors Note: Hehe. I was bored and this is the result. Hajime and Tokio are having more kids. Hmm...what's the world coming to? Anyhow, enjoy. Read and Review please!  
  
HOW HAJIME FOUND OUT  
  
"Hajime Jr.! Quit running! In fact, just stop breathing!" Hajime Saitou yelled at his 5 year old squirrel killing son. He looked at his wife Tokio questioningly.  
  
"You want another one why?"  
  
"I don't, but you had to have that 'special night' with me a few months ago, so quit complaining to me! Besides, it was your fault! It was your sperm!" Tokio argued with her husband.  
  
"Hey, it isn't my fault you were ovulating when we had our fun," Hajime said calmly defending himself.  
  
"Well excuse me for being a woman! What, would you rather me be a man like yourself? And who was having fun? I don't seem to remember!" Tokio said angrily turning from him.  
  
Saitou opened his mouth, but nothing came out for a while. "That was just cruel!" He said finally responding.  
  
"Talk to me when you can control Hajime Jr.," Tokio said walking away slowly.  
  
"Are you asking me to shun you? I'm more likely to increase the squirrel population again!" Saitou pouted.  
  
"It was a joke Hajime. Say, why don't we go out to the Akabeko? Three of seven children have gotten married and moved away!" Tokio said happily.  
  
"Not far enough away. Do you know how much this is going to cost us? Even without Lowell, Damian, and Damia, there's still the other four plus you and me to pay for!" Saitou said not ready to part with him money.  
  
"Those 'four' have names. Besides, they'll move out almost consecutively in 8 years," Tokio smiled lightly.  
  
"Yeah, add 18 years for the next one," Saitou said grimly.  
  
"Well...your right about how many years until we're free unless something happens again, but I saw the doctor today. We're having more than one," Toko said trying not to anger her husband.  
  
"How many exactly?" Saitou asked suspiciously backing away a little.  
  
Tokio seldom resorted to one word answers, but this seemed appropriate somehow. "Six."  
  
Saitou, again, opened his mouth to respond. Instead his eyes rolled back into his head and he passed out.  
  
Tbc..  
  
What did you think? Let me know! Review! 


	2. Part Two

Disclaimer: No, I'm not the lucky bitch who own it. Damn. Okay, done complaining.  
  
Authors note: Hi! This isn't my favorite chapter of this story but...yeah. I forgot to warn you guys last time. Since this is humor, its difficult to keep Saitou in character. So expect him to be OCC the whole time. And as far as how weird this story is goes...uh...I am so it is. Yeah. That's about it.  
  
To The Reviewers:  
  
Silly Koneko- Yeah. I forgot to warn you about that. As I said, he has to be OCC to be funny. I hope you like it.  
  
Imalefty- Sorry is I shocked you (*sweat drops*). Heh heh...It does get better. The 3rd chapter is much better. Now to post it...  
  
GCN anime dragon- Hehe! I'm a weird writer! Thanks!  
  
Grah- I know I know! I'm just not a historian...heh...uh...You see though. Those names do have a purpose. Lowell means something to do with a wolf and Saitou is the Mibu Wolf. Saitou will be very out of character in the story because he is funny that way. ( Sorry if that dissapoints you...  
  
Capasso-007- Thank you for being the first person not to complain about occ ness! I really need to put occ in the summary. Keep reading and reviewing!  
  
DarkNatsu- The second not to complain! Thanks! I think I like you...Thanks again!  
  
Keep reading and reviewing please!  
  
HOW HAJIME FOUND OUT- Chapter 2  
  
When Hajime Saitou woke up, he was laying in a hospital bed. Saitou groaned and rolled over in an attempt to get off the bed. Unfortunately for him, he legs wouldn't support him and he fell crashing to the floor.  
  
"Hajime! Are you all right? When did you wake up?" Tokio said running into the room and helping her husband up. Saitou clung to her for balance and mentally noted her stomach had grown. Then he remembered why he was here. The though of feeding 10 children made him cringe and slightly dizzy, so he held Tokio tighter.  
  
"How long have I been here?" Saitou asked figuring it was better for his won sake not to think about how much this was going to cost him.  
  
"Almost a month. Your boss heard about the sextuplets and he's been sending money," Tokio said trying to make him feel a little better. (A/N: Yes I know a month is an unreasonably long time to be unconscious. Don't shoot me. I just needed some time to pass.)  
  
"Can we sell the children to the Himura's?" Saitou asked.  
  
"Which ones?" Tokio asked rolling her eyes.  
  
"How about Hajime Jr.?" Saitou asked really hoping she would say yes.  
  
"No. There's no way the Himura's would want to be even remotely related to him. Try again," Tokio laughed.  
  
"Fine. Let's sell him to the gypsies," Saitou said. Even thinking it brought a smile to his face.  
  
"Is that still legal?" Tokio asked looking at her husbands expression.  
  
"No, but I could make it legal," Hajime said.  
  
"No," Tokio replied.  
  
"But-"  
  
"No Hajime, we're not selling our kids. They're our responsibility and I think they were made through our love, but why I fell in love with you, I'll never know," Tokio smiled.  
  
"Yeah, you know you want me. Quit pretending you don't," Saitou smiled and then suddenly kissed his wife.  
  
"Hmm...maybe I'm in it for this part of the relationship," Tokio said smiling dreamily up at her husband.  
  
"Couldn't have been my personality," Saitou acknowledged.  
  
"Okay. We're still keeping the kids," Tokio said.  
  
"Damn it!"  
  
How was that? I hope it was at least decent. Let me know if you see anything I've got to fix. K? Review! 


	3. Part Three

Disclaimer: I don't own it. I own Hajime's kids and that's about it.  
  
Authors note: Wow. People actually read this. I'm shocked. Yay anyway! I think I'll upload two chapters today since I keep forgetting to do it. Hehe. Read and Review. I love revieews.  
  
To the Reviewers:  
  
Baljagdgaifi- First off, interesting name. And my names used are...um... purposeful. Thanks!  
  
Imalefty- Yay! Thanks! Hopefully I can complete this quickly...  
  
Gaby- I tend to agree with you...Poor Saitou.  
  
Sekihoutai- Um...Heh-heh...sure. Thanks!  
  
Reaka- Only you would burst out in song in the middle of a review! Thanks for getting around to it anyway. I'm glad you finally did it. I'm proud of you!  
  
On to the story! _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _  
  
~Part 3~  
  
Saitou sat sulking in his chair staring blankly at his newspaper.  
  
'Damn woman. Won't even give some of the kids up for adoption. 3 months pregnant, I'm working and saving all the yen I make, and bringing home more prison food.'  
  
"Hajime." The word was whispered by his ear. He sighed then faced his wife.  
  
"What did my son kill now?" he asked tiredly.  
  
"'Your son' is now a criminal suspect for the murder of the town mascot 'Nuts the Squirrel'," Tokio told her husband sadly.  
  
"Did they arrest him?" Hajime asked closing his eyes.  
  
"Yes."  
  
"Then let them feed him for a while. And don't give me that look Tokio. You know as well as I do they'll release him in an hour or two when he refuses to stop singing the song that never ends," Hajime said going back to his newspaper.  
  
(A/N- the next few lines probably won't make sense. A friend and I altered a comic book so DBZ characters say stupid stuff like 'I have a turban'. Heh...It was entertaining at them time. *sweat drops*)  
  
"Yeah, you're probably right. Think he'll go on about his cape and non- existent turban?" Tokio asked amused at her husbands remarks.  
  
"Lets hope not. He'll keep going on even when he gets home. We'll ask him if he wants more stale bread and he'll say 'I have a turban" and the next thing we say to him, he'll say 'It's white'. Why can't he be like the rest of the kids? At least with them I can take some pride," Saitou said ripping his newspaper.  
  
They looked at each other and voiced the same thought. "Damn that Kristi and Reese with their altered comic book!"  
  
"I understand honey. I want to disown him sometimes too. When I was pregnant with him you were already calling him the biggest screw up of your life, so you can't blame it all on him, "Tokio said trying to get Hajime to listen to her.  
  
"Sure I can. It's what I'm doing isn't it?" Saitou asked.  
  
"Hajime Saitou! You need to be nicer to Hajime Jr.! He's your son for Pete's sake!" Tokio yelled at her now shocked husband.  
  
Saitou recovered quickly. "How can you expect me to like someone who looks like me and stole my name?! No one knew my first name except you until that bratty demon child was born!" Hajime yelled obviously bottled up emotion.  
  
"Shut up! Deal with it! If you didn't like it you should've said so! It's too late to change it now!" Tokio yelled back.  
  
"Fine!" Saitou yelled picking up his torn newspaper and attempting to read it.  
  
'This is why I love that woman," Hajime thought. He allowed himself a little smile as the reality of that thought sunk in.  
  
What did you think? I hope it was okay. REVIEW and tell me what you think. I like other people's opinions. 


	4. Part Four

Disclaimer: I only own Hajime Jr. and Hajime's other kids. Sad. Pathetic. Hey, does that sound like a description of me?  
  
Authors note: Yay! I decided to write up another chapter. And here it is. Don't riot on me! And something I keep forgetting to mention...This is HUMOR. Meaning the character will more than likely be OOC or Out Of Character. I know this. I've accepted this. It is life. If that bothers you, I'm sorry. Anyhow, on with the story!  
  
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~Part 4~  
  
"We are gathered here today to bury what remains of Nuts the Squirrel, our town mascot," The preacher said mournfully.  
  
Hajime Saitou, his wife Tokio, and his 'other three' children watched in silence as they lowered the dead squirrel into the hole. They couldn't find Hajime Jr. They pretty much assumed he was killing some other poor defenseless creature.  
  
"Darling, are you sure we can't marry all 10 of them off early?" Saitou asked honestly.  
  
"Yes Hajime, I'm sure. It would weigh too heavily on my conscience to give my children to poor unsuspecting families," Tokio said.  
  
Apparently that was not the answer Hajime wanted to hear. He simply ignored her comment.  
  
"I see why they say Hajime Jr. did this. Look at what's left of the poor thing. Besides, they're saying the evidence points to the murder weapon being a stick," Hajime said smiling.  
  
"I'm gonna grow up and be just like daddy! Hiya!" Hajime Jr. yelled whacking his father with the traditional stick.  
  
"How did you get out of jail Hajime Jr.?" asked Saitou holding his quickly bruising lower ankle tenderly.  
  
"They said it was for good behavior. They said I was the son of God! Hey dad, that makes you my underling!" Hajime Jr. yelled.  
  
"Hajime Jr., go home. You're not the son of God and you know it. What did you really do to get out of your prison cell?" Hajime asked his son.  
  
"I started crashing into the walls at random intervals. They were frightened of me so they let me go," Hajime Jr. shrugged. "Hey look its Nuts the Squirrel! What happened to him?"  
  
"You were picked up by the police and you don't know why?" Saitou asked staring at him.  
  
"They pick me up all the time. I'm just so used to it I guess I don't bother to ask anymore. Poor squirrel. Even I wouldn't kill a protected mascot," Hajime Jr. said sadly. "Daddy?" He said suddenly.  
  
"What, and I told you not to call me that in public!" Hajime said.  
  
"Mom was right. I'll be the next Battousai the man slayer!" Hajime Jr. smiled.  
  
"Don't you mean Mibu wolf?" Saitou asked suddenly furious.  
  
"No. Battousai. That way I have long silky red hair and purpley eyes..."  
  
"Are you in love with the ex Battousai?" Hajime asked his son.  
  
"Hell no! I'm talking about his lovely daughter," Hajime Jr. said starting to drool.  
  
"Tokio!"  
  
How was that? Was this one okay? The friend I wrote this for particularly liked this one so yeah. REVIEW and tell me what you think. 


	5. Part Five

Disclaimer: Damn it, I still don't own it! You don't have to rub it in! (*Melodramatic sobs*)  
  
Authors Note: Hey! Glad you people are still reading. Amazed even. Remember OOC is in this. And somehow, part of this fic seems to be settling on Hajime's 5 year old son. Oh well. I think he's an interesting new character. Read and Review!  
  
To the Reviewers:  
  
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~Part 5~  
  
Hajime Jr. snuggled into his mothers lap and finally fell asleep. Amazingly enough, he looked angelic in his sleep. Hajime just wanted his son to sleep forever-in a more permanent way.  
  
Hajime Jr. suddenly screamed and hid under the sofa.  
  
"What's wrong honey?" Tokio asked as Hajime Jr. Poked his head out from under the couch slowly.  
  
"Nuts the Squirrel! In my dream he was asking me if I wanted to touch his nuts! Whaaa! *Alden asks me that all the time and it's scary! Whaaaaaaa!" Hajime Jr. Wailed.  
  
(* Alden is Sano's son just so you know. Don't ask.)  
  
Hajime and Tokio looked at each other than back at Hajime Jr.  
  
"What about that Himura girl you were drooling over today? Aren't you supposedly in love with her?" Saitou asked.  
  
"No. I'm in love with her sister," Hajime Jr. replied calmly.  
  
"Why were you afraid of the dead squirrel?" Tokio asked truly curious now.  
  
"It was daddy in the squirrel suit!" Hajime Jr. cried, then screamed again.  
  
"You need counseling," Hajime said going back to reading his paper.  
  
"We'll take you to see *Karina tomorrow honey," Toko said as Saitou gave her a look.  
  
(* Karina is Aoshi's wife. Again, don't ask.)  
  
"Do you know how much that wench will charge us?" Hajime asked looking angry.  
  
"I know dear, but you have to admit, she does tneed the money," Tokio said with a slight smile.  
  
Saitou laughed. "Yeah, the Sagara's and the Shinomori's are in a worse financial state than we are," Saitou added.  
  
* * *  
  
The following morning, Hajime Jr. found himself in what Karina called he kitchen. All it really was, was a dirt floored room, a fire pit and a piece of wood she called her shelf. He chose the cleanest bit of dirt floor and sat down.  
  
"Want some candy?" Karina asked sitting on the block of wood.  
  
"What's candy?" Hajime Jr. asked turning his head slightly.  
  
"You don't know what candy is," Karina said raising her eyebrows.  
  
"Dad told me it was bad for me health and it was too expensive," Hajime Jr. shrugged.  
  
"Okay. Let's play a game. Its called crush the ant hills in Karina's kitchen," Karina smiled.  
  
* * *  
  
Half and hour later, Karina proclaimed Hajime Jr. perfectly sane, just raised by wolves. This made Hajime strangely want to get rid of all his children.  
  
"Just have to have 6 more on the way..."  
  
How was that chapter? Okay, good, what. I want to know. REVIEW and let me know what you think! 


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